By Crystal Hohenthaner
Journal staff

I don’t remember why we were driving around, but I do remember that Sky was playing the DJ. He was doing that thing where he tried to expose me – his sweet, musically clueless friend – to some kind of musical genius. Specifically, Phish.
 
I tried to be the good friend and I really wanted to like it because if Sky thought these guys were geniuses and I could understand their greatness somehow I might be a little bit closer to genius myself.
 
Well, I did not get closer to genius that day. I just didn’t get it, period. Honestly, I kept waiting for it to get interesting. I was hoping for a melody, lyrics – something that I could relate to or even mildly enjoy. I got nothing.
 
In fact, because of Phish I was anti-funk guitar for a long time, and ultimately I did learn a lesson about music from Sky that day. I learned that I don’t like jam bands. I also learned that I am a lyric girl. I also learned that I think Phish sounds like elevator music.

Sadly,I had another Phish-y experience last Friday night. I was visiting my sister in Brookings and we went to see a band – a Phish cover band.
 
“Wait, a cover band of a jam band?” you may be wondering to yourself.
 
Yes, a jam cover band – or a cover jam band. Either way I felt like I had fallen through some crack in the universe. The band was good – well they were skilled – and I had fun because I was with my sister and her friend Addie, but I was certainly perplexed. And kind of annoyed.
 
I was again confronted over and over with the fact that I am incapable of recognizing the greatness of Phish. I kept wondering when the songs were going to take. The group did play covers of other bands as well. Bands who I do find great. Bands like CCR – I know I’m not that complex musically. But these songs took forever as well.

Seriously, how many times do you have to twist and torture a melody before it is just DEAD! Enough already. But then again, I wasn’t high like a lot of the audience members.
 
Anyway, moving on, besides the CCR, the best part of the night was the fact that it all reminded me of Sky. (I miss you and I love you Sky.) On the other hand, the worst part was the drunken boy that kept trying to dance with my sister – and ended up dancing with me.

To be fair at least he could lead, and he did dip me at least twice. However, he was rather drunk, only knew how to two-step and kept dancing with me to the CCR songs.
 
First of all, CCR is great, but it isn’t exactly dance music. I mean would it ever occur to you when you hear “Bad Moon Rising” that it’s time for a two-step? Yeah me either. The other issue was that these songs are long to start with and the group playing them was a jam band – so they went on forever!

Admittedly I like CCR, but after a five minute guitar solo, unyeilding variations on drums and getting spun 100 times during one song I don’t want to hear “Fortunate Son” again for the REST of my life.
 
Yeah, jam bands aren’t my friend.